Saturday, September 19, 2009

I have spent the past three hours watching ways the earth will eventually be destroyed on the history channel. There was a 30 minute break for some giant, man-eating, fresh water fish. Comforting.

Now I am starting to believe that Yellowstone Park is going to go up in hot, liquid, firey lava and burning goo in 2012. That is how Quetzocaotl will return. In a fit of molten glory. This is just one more reason to get that RV by June. I want to see Yellowstone before it is blown up by the inner fury of the earth.

Say what you want, but no one really knows. I read a friend's blog this morning. She wrote about death; losing another friend. Invincible we are not. I do not want to spend my days working, slaving, sulking, not seeing all there is to see... I have no idea how many days are left. For me, for you, for us all.

It is not that I am in a bad mood, and I am by no means trying to be morbid. I just really want to have the fullest "human experience." At 23 I already feel like I have one foot in the grave. Maybe it is worth arguing, but I have had mortality thrown in my face.

There is so much more out there... what am I still doing here?

Friday, September 4, 2009

Enough is enough...

Things always seem to fall together when you expect them to the least. That being said, nothing seems to be working out these days.

I have resorted to way too much chocolate, way too little protein, and way too much booze. So this is life. Meh.

I have been sulking in loneliness and self-pity, which is all-around ridiculous. The fact is that on a good day I am a babe and on a bad day, well at least my mirror stays in one piece. Things could be worse. I am constantly surrounded by beautiful people who I love and who love me. In all reality... things have been worse. So what the hell?

I think I just need a dildo. Or a heated blanket. Or both.